The Simple Life

I haven’t been a bachelor for many years now, almost 18 actually, but for the past two weeks I’ve been flying solo after my family took a little trip the CA.

The past 14 days have reminded me, that while I love my family and miss them very much, the single life can be a much simpler life.

With that in mind, I would like to offer these few words of advice to any of the young fellas out there who might be thinking about leaving the comfort of their parents home and branching out on their own.

·      Making the bed- this is a highly over rated custom and completely unnecessary, especially if you make it a practice of falling asleep on the couch and/or recliner.

·      End tables and coffee tables- these pieces of furniture can be your best friend, especially end tables that are small enough to easily move around the room, yet large enough to cover Kool-Aid stains on rug that were caused when  falling asleep on couch to avoid making the bed.

·      Doing dishes- much like making the bed, highly over rated. I find that using one dish (or Marie Callender’s pie tins to be exact) really saves time in the kitchen. Use one dish, one fork, one plastic cup for every meal, and you only have three things to wash, therefore freeing up more time for sleeping on couch.

·      Cooking- much like the dishes issue, simple is better. Keep in mind, everything tastes better as a sandwich or rolled up in a tortilla, and when eaten directly over the sink, no need to break out the pie tin. And remember, popcorn is and always will be an entrêe.

·      Shopping- again, simple is better. I have a rule: don’t shop until the refrigerator is empty. This makes for some very creative meals. But a word of caution:  a spaghetti omelet is much better than it sounds, but a tuna, asparagus, and corn chip omelet- not so much.

·      Look before you eat- what APPEARS to be cottage cheese may not necessarily BE cottage cheese.

·      Laundry- again, very old and out of date customs aren’t always the best. The need to separate lights and darks doesn’t really come into play if you only where various shades of gray. Or better yet, multi colored Hawaiian shirts. If the colors bleed into each other, just say it’s part of the pattern.

So while the past two weeks have brought back to mind my simpler, younger, single days, I can’t wait to head down to Sky Harbor to pick up my wife and son.

But not before heading over to Goodwill for a couple extra end tables.