Wednesday, September 01, 2004


I’m officially retarded.

Although I’ve been accused of this in the past, it is now official.

I stopped at Long’s Drugs today to look for an ointment- I won’t get into the details here, lets just say it was for a “friend”.

Anyway, while searching for the product, my cell phone rang. My phone is small, not one of those micro-teeny-tiny jobs, but pretty small. Especially compared to my head.

I answered the phone while reading the label of container to determine if this was the product my “friend” needed.

So here I am, with my head tilted to hold my phone between my ear and shoulder, while walking through the store, reading this label.

I turn around and there’s a clerk watching me- She asks if I need any help, I tell her ‘no thanks” and continue my conversation.

A minute or 2 later, I see that now there are two clerks watching me from the next isle, looking over the top of the row- I catch there eyes and they both turn away quickly.

I say to my caller, half jokingly “Hey I think I’m being followed”.

As I approached the front of the store, still on my call, I was now being followed by three persons- all trying not to look at me.

I said into the phone “hold on a minute” then, placing the phone in my hand I asked “Can I help you with something?” All three people looked at each other and burst out laughing.

The first lady who had approached me then said “Sorry- I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but we thought- well, we thought you were retarded or something. The way you were holding your head all crooked and talking to yourself, we thought there was something wrong with you. You know- mentally”.

Now, how could I take that the wrong way.

So, now I’m retarded.

I want a blue parking space.


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