The Lime Cartel

There was a time when we...and when I say "we" I mean the degenerates I hung around with, and when I say "the degenerates I hung around with" I mean Ron, Bob, and myself, used to drink a lot of gimlets. 

And Kamikazes.

For the uneducated among us, a gimlet is either vodka or gin with lime juice. and ice.

We chose vodka since we were fighting the fine fight against the Soviet Union and Ivan Drago, deplete the GNP and watch the evil empire fall and all of that. 

A Kamikaze is a gimlet with some triple sec, which is just another alcohol, but it sounds fancy.

We would mosey up to the bar and order what we thought was a fancy cocktail, and after one or two or, more likely 10 or 20 , then  complain that the gimlet or kamikaze would give us a headache. 

We would, each and every time, blame the lime juice since lime juice contains citric acid, and as anyone who has ever watched the episode of Dragnet where Blue Boy took acid and started eating tree bark then when crazy even


though his parents thought acid was harmless but Joe Friday knew better and told them that acid was very dangerous, would 100 % know that acid in any form is harmful.

So, then we would switch to vodka on the rocks...because that didn't contain any acid so it was better for us.

We were smart. 

Practically doctors.

Which brings up the years I spent as an unlicensed pharmacists, but that's a blog for another day.