Hair today, gone to China

At a very early age, 16 or so, I started losing my hair.

Not much. Just a little thinning on top, near the crown of my head.

My hair was always very thin and straight- not much body to it, so this little bit made me nervous. But, as it would thin, it would grow back, not as much, but not real noticeable either.

I toyed with the idea of converting to Judaism, the yarmulke would have covered it nicely and I’ve always thought Fiddler on the Roof was a masterpiece, but decided against it in the end.

The whole no-bacon thing kinda' killed it for me.

At the time it really bothered me. Remember- this was pre its-cool-to-shave-your-head days. Hair bands were in, Midnight Oil was still on the horizon.

I had heard that hair loss potential can be gauged by the mother’s side of the family, so I asked my mom if anyone on her side was bald- she said only her aunt- I wasn’t sure what to make of that, but soon the hair loss leveled out, so I didn’t worry too much.

Now, I’m in my late 30’s and male pattern baldness isn’t uncommon in my age group.

Over the years, I often wondered what happened to my hair. It wasn’t as if my comb was filled with lost strands or my shower drain was being clogged, I just knew that I had less hair.
Where did it go? Was there some strange place where lost hair, keys and single socks go to congregate? Was there some black market for hair? The wig makers of the world trading in some sleazy back alley?

I now know. Reuters has blown the lid on the lost hair conspiracy. Lost hairs unite- on one guy.

I think I’ll ask him if he knows where my missing black sock is.