Wednesday, September 01, 2004

'tarded

I’m officially retarded.

Although I’ve been accused of this in the past, it is now official.

I stopped at Long’s Drugs today to look for an ointment- I won’t get into the details here, lets just say it was for a “friend”.

Anyway, while searching for the product, my cell phone rang. My phone is small, not one of those micro-teeny-tiny jobs, but pretty small. Especially compared to my head.

I answered the phone while reading the label of container to determine if this was the product my “friend” needed.

So here I am, with my head tilted to hold my phone between my ear and shoulder, while walking through the store, reading this label.

I turn around and there’s a clerk watching me- She asks if I need any help, I tell her ‘no thanks” and continue my conversation.

A minute or 2 later, I see that now there are two clerks watching me from the next isle, looking over the top of the row- I catch there eyes and they both turn away quickly.

I say to my caller, half jokingly “Hey I think I’m being followed”.

As I approached the front of the store, still on my call, I was now being followed by three persons- all trying not to look at me.

I said into the phone “hold on a minute” then, placing the phone in my hand I asked “Can I help you with something?” All three people looked at each other and burst out laughing.

The first lady who had approached me then said “Sorry- I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but we thought- well, we thought you were retarded or something. The way you were holding your head all crooked and talking to yourself, we thought there was something wrong with you. You know- mentally”.

Now, how could I take that the wrong way.

So, now I’m retarded.

I want a blue parking space.

Boogey Town

"Oh, I ... Ohhh I ... I love the nightlife,
I got to boogie-
on the disco 'round, oh yea."
Alicia Bridges- 1978

Where have you gone Alicia Bridges?

Yavapai Valley That’s where!!

I am looking forward to my move.

Time to break out the dancing shoes 'cause we goin’ to a hoe down.

Check out these listings courtesy of the Daily Courier

VULTURE MINE ROAD BAND from Wickenburg plays rock ‘n’ roll and oldies from 8 p.m. to midnight Friday and Saturday at Hooligan’s Pub,

ROBERTSON COUNTY BAND rattles the rafters at 8:30 p.m. Friday and Saturday at Matt’s Longhorn Saloon on Whiskey Row.
Hey- I got my own Saloon- and it’s a Longhorn to boot! I’m looking forward to taking a walk on Whiskey Row.

The Piano Bar Stylings of PETE REVELLE begins at 5:30 p.m. Friday and Saturday at the Uptown Restaurant
Yes- the Stylings of Pete at the Uptown. Tray Sheek

And don’t forget the fun to be had at Krazy Rayz, The Pine Cone Inn Supper Club, Coyote Joe’s, and of course, Mason’s Music Barn on Williamson Valley Road.

And Yes Wonderbread- Karaoke is everywhere.



You can have my Kibbles, but don't touch my Bits

As you may know, I am a dog lover- up to a point-
Check out his story from the AP:

Dog Bites Off N.M. Man's Genitals
Tue Aug 31, 8:22 PM ET

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. - A man whose genitals were bitten off by a pit bull remained in serious condition Tuesday, and the dog remained on the loose.

I know this sounds horrible, but read on-

When police arrived to help, the man appeared disoriented and fled on foot but police tracked him to a nearby park…
The man was naked when found at the park, but it was unclear at what point he had taken off his clothes. Neighbors had seen him playing with the dog earlier in the day.
Arbogast said investigators do not know why the man was naked, and remain uncertain about some circumstances surrounding the attack…
Shortly after the attack Monday, Gov. Bill Richardson released a statement saying he would proposed legislation next year aimed at holding owners of dangerous dogs accountable for their pets.

What about legislation for naked guys “playing” with dogs?

I would have bitten him too.